He became mean and rude to me. I want him to know what life could be like with me if he left. Most probably running away for some time would seem to be the perfect solution. Physical attraction is the attraction most likely to go uninfluenced by any other system. Sounds drastic, but its important to give yourself some physical distance so that no serious boundaries will be crossed., Be sure to also take a look at your personal life. Just very cold and when I asked what was going on I got the typical response of all is well, feeling under the weather, and hes nervous around me (which to me is saying how you feel without outwardly saying how you feel). Theres no wonder some are so messed up! Though this is my first time to enter a seminary, I immediately liked the ambiance inside it. I was gutted. It had just taken a while for my heart to catch up with what my head has always know. I returned to the RCC a few years ago after a long absence. I do believe that if the church would allow priests to marry it would be much better and its something I hope to see many good men have left because they have loved a special person and I respect that maybe they have more courage than me but I know if I left I would not be happy as this is everything I worked for and I am happy doing this but yes of course a part of me wants to be like everyone else but deep down inside I know this where I belong. There is so much unnecessary hurt here. Its been done. Reading comments here makes me think of a situation I was in. A priest is a spiritual father, and his life of sacrifice, faith, and servant leadership makes him a beautiful human being. I liked what you wrote especially the fact that the Pope should look beneath the surface! I really thought nothing of it until I met him almost 4 months ago, but he seemed to have taken a distinct liking to me. In one case, I asked to speak to my friend, as a priest, as ANYTHING, because of my crushing grief over losing two people close to me within a week. Then why seminary? I dont know what Ill do now this priest, whose friendship comes and goes, has left another community. Its the other way around for me.I have romantic feelings for a priest. So one day or another he has to meet his loving partner to discuss the situation. Somebody told me it also. He was listening to my with a big attention. Obviously the priest is trying to react to his loving emotions. no im completely feel not comfortable when im with me, unlike how i feel when im with my priest best friend, 2 completely different feelings, if i feel so comfortable with the priest i feel so uncomfortable with my man, if you ask why? And he still disturbs my peace, not so much in the love I feel for him but in the hurt he has given me. But he is also human. .. But it us very hard to have feelings for a priest knowibg you wont get what you want ever.Hes now in another church so Ill never know what he felt for me.I know not all priests are safe but this priest was safe and I think thats why some women are attractef to them.And knowing that they are off limits adds to that.And I never thought that Id ever have feelings for one -I love the Catholic Church too much to even think of lusting after a priest. Consequently, I make efforts to date other people having this knowledge, but I cant help feeling guilty because Ive never actually given him a chance. I still wanted to hold on. First, you were able to feel the presence off the Lord in the seminary. Discover through self reflection and prayer what is right. He ignored my tearful phone call and when I wrote to him, told me he was busy. While not flirting, per se, someone might be into you if they take on a relaxed and calm demeanor whenever you're around, spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells Bustle. She is not catholic and cant take communion I was just frozen I stood still she looked at me I was beating so much inside felt so sick and scared she came up said Jack bless me please show that you care her eyes dripping so bad and her nose running all I could do was look I was in a state of shock! How is your marriage? Yes I am but thats my choice. Emotional attraction is key to a deep, strong love. Ill be praying for you. Hes never told me he loves me but hes given himself away many times. Why are we confused about what to do with feelings for an ordained priest? I;d like to thank you, now Im so crying cause I think that love can arrive only one time in our life even that its very unhappy he doesnt even want to trow away the bad food he still let us eat it, to save his money. I used to catch him looking at me, he also always insisted that I was involved in meetings and voluntary work that he was involved with. I know of a married individual, a Baptist, who had a woman on the side. Jack, I would stand my ground and sit tight because it will change I reckon. Lets pray for them. I used to tease him at times. If I let things progress, would I want him to go through confusion and ridicule or to be judged by other people? If you read it you will see that celibacy is NOT just about abstaining from sex. He is very kind, caring, and thoughtful. I just avoided it and walked out into the church and she was in then back pew praying and she said Jack!!! In my opinion, thinking about the information you provided, you should move on. This makes me sad people like this should leave the priesthood I have seen some rude priests and treat there people like shit no love in there priesthood yet the guys who did leave for a special person always loved there parish and did everything they could to please the community they had being a real Shepard of their flock. There arent many places where women who feel in love can find solace. I do care about eliminating this man made rule and sllowing Gods love to flow as He intends..God Bless you Rita. You are helping the girl to fall in love with you. I still wake up in the night angry or hurt with him and I have to forgive him time and time again. I too have had a similar experience with a priest and Im a celibate woman. 1.8K. She described him as a righteous man, but she could no longer live with him because he was so righteous. Priests, in their ordination, have decided on the life they want to live, with whom and how. I know I must trust God to heal, I do hope, Jack, that you make the right decisionGod bless you too. I adore my parish priest as he does me! Priests are no different from other human beings. Its not the first time that the loving woman wont receive any message from her priest. Sent a private email. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspirituality.org and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. Sent you a private email. Hes only JUST been ordained! I did find comfort in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. 18. We have the same opinions of many things. It only leads to heartbreak Ive been there and that was 3years ago. You are lucky to that this is in the early stages! You have to fight then to keep believing in the beauty of yourself, the part that counts , the part you cant change. No hugs no kisses no flirting!! Celibacy isnt just about sex. Or those Catholic priests who are allowed to marry? He telephoned her, wanting news about me and then she told him Id moved away. I know its wrong to fall for a priest. This is not what God intends surely! I will be saying vey special prayers for you Jack. He would like to have special treatment yet he never commits himself! He will accept your vulnerable parts along with your good ones and will want to spend as much time with you as possible, even if it is to just sit around and talk. He wanted me to wait til his term will be finished and he will leave the priesthood. I started visiting with my parish priest to file for an annulment through the church( Been divorced for 15 years). If priest who is about 40 could feel something to a woman who is 20 years old? We all find ways. He is but a man who has a heart that could fall in love. Can someone personally contact me. Jack Jack ! Fewer laity go to Study Centres, and in my experience, priests relax and talk to you, which Ive found they dont in parishes, possibly because big brotherthe laity.are watching them. I sympathise with your situation. If a guy is flirting with you a lot then hes likely got his mind on an intimate encounter. I thought I would give you all an update of whats happened! The question you must answer iscan I supress my human emotion of love for the rest of my life?I know there are some priests that do just that but is that for you? Rita, Lilshautyz you are still very ypung. And more. I wonder., though, how you might feel about the vocations of rabbis. Yes I kissed her and hugged her in my human weakness but I never crossed that line of having sex with yes of course it crossed my mind, to want more but I did not want to use her for having a good time because the reality was I was never going to leave and that would not be fair to her! And I just felt like it is wrong to give him signals. We present the married priesthood based on the biblical image as it is more fruitful to todays world. Considerare you fulfilled in your religious calling; AS fulfilled as you are with her? May God bless you! Its up to you to decide which way to go. What I love about what I do is being able to help those in need and doing what needs to be done helping the community that keeps me burning I dont hate anything I do for the people here I would do anything for the people here in the parish. Their positioning can reveal if the person is available or not. Jesus would also probably not condone a crazy , sick system that perverts the meaning of love. i miss to be loved. Most probably running away for some time would seem to be the perfect solution. That is part of your responsibility. Im considering even writing a letter to the Pope with multiple valid reasons on why a catholic priest should be allowed to marry. I love him so much but i wanted to stay out because if my family will found out they will get hurt so bad. Physical attraction often provokes sweating, a racing heart, and may not feel entirely unlike anxiety or I am not doing anything wrong. On the contrary, people who are attracted to you might send mixed signals, especially if someone is anxious around someone theyre attracted to. jack i am not making accusations but i hope to understand from the priests point of view. Thanks for speaking so clearly about what others suffer in silence and maybe dont have the courage to share with others. Butterflies, nervous stomach, nausea. then he move in the other parish in the other place far from where my place, but sometimes we meet if we visit him in his parish, every time we meet he is still the same as before, we are still in contact sometimes, until i got married, i am 30 years old now, he is avoiding me, i feel like i lost him, and when i feel i lost him i realize i love him too, i cant forget him, its hurting me when he avoid me, he dont reply my message, and then 1 day he said to leave him alone, ohh it was so pain, but when we meet in person accidentally or intentionally, he is still the same, sweet, he always like to talk to me like im the only person around him while there is other people also,. Misogyny is typically an unconscious hatred that men form early in life, often as a result of trauma from a female figure they trusted. Im way behind on this entire bandwagon here but I feel the need to share my story on here I prefer to let the readers suggest what to do if you dont mind. Can I contact you through private email? ..he declined my offer as he could probably tell that Id want to see him again..hes incredibly tactful and we ended the conversation and a few texts later..on a pleasant but underlying, sad noteIt showed that its best to keep that distance. He is still a sinner, like everybody else Its nothing to be scandalized about. I still wonder do you regret choosing not to be with her now she is gone? Help our priests live the life they envisioned to live. Its not good its a bad ending to it. His love for his woman wont diminish his enthusiasm for the Lords work. These are people who truly love the church and cannot imagine themselves out of it. You can tell if a man is emotionally attracted to you by the way he treats you, on the way he reacts to your opinions and thoughts. My email is charlottescott1977@gmail.com, Giving your personal email address in a blog might prove dangerous in the long run. I think its wonderful that you are following your calling but its the elimination of human love that I think causes some priests to behave and live very unrealistic lives. I was like alright so Im giving us both time and space because its evident we both need it. I actually find it quite insulting to be treated as if Im a threat but on reflection, men are usually weaker then women when it comes to celibacy so nowadays I see it as their problem, not mine. making love is one of the most beautiful thing in life! As always, discussion has many positive points especially in this case. through understanding i shall find peace. Recently, like very recently, he has seemed a little distant and standoffish as if something is bothering him. It's FREE! Is it fair to make her get mad about you and then revert to the rules of the book and tell her, sorry we cant marry? To be honest I dont agree with your rule of celibacy, it is created by human not god, church imposed. So for all these Through this my prayer life became very strong. You can ask about anything liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. I let it go public on the request of the reader. But he is also a priest sworn to celibacy by the Holy Catholic Church. Who are we ordinary people to judge? Said listen I cant do that I know here is my place its where I belong. You are free to decide: to love this woman or else to continue celibate priesthood. He is a priest. I dont think priests realize how exquisitely emotionally painful it is to be on the laity end of secret love: to be alternately treasured then shunned, or to bear the incredible tension of adhering to holy chastity while coping with raw emotion which cannot be named or acknowledged. If she likes you, she might make excuses to get closer or touch you. Hes attracted to what you represent as a personality, to your mind, your opinions, your views on the world. I never knew that she was going to be killed I miss her very much and there is a thing in my heart missing for her thats true but I never wanted to leave my vocation for someone the promises I made are permanent to me. A priest is a spiritual father, and his life of sacrifice, faith, and servant leadership makes him a beautiful human being. There is no right or wrong when we try to justify our actions. A break-up with a priest takes longer to get over, I would think, due to the fact that we cant go vent with our women friends like we could, if it was regular guy, cause its a secret relationship usually. She had come over to me at a church event before going to speak to him and she told me that shes his mother. 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